First-Time Mom Survival Guide (7 of 10): Sleep Solutions for Moms (Not Just Babies)
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As a first-time mom, the moment you bring your newborn home, sleep can feel like a distant memory. Between nighttime feedings, diaper changes, and the constant cycle of waking up, your sleep patterns may be completely disrupted. But here’s the thing — your sleep matters too. As a new mom, you’re juggling the physical and emotional demands of motherhood, and getting quality sleep (or at least the best sleep possible) is essential for your well-being.
In this guide, we’ll dive into strategies that not only help your baby sleep better, but also support your sleep and mental health during this demanding time. We’ll cover sleep debt, nervous system regulation, and how to manage nighttime anxiety, so you can prioritize your rest and rejuvenate, even in the midst of this chaotic season.
1. Sleep Debt: Understanding the Impact on Your Health
It’s no secret that sleep deprivation can leave you feeling physically drained and emotionally fragile. If you’ve been running on little sleep for weeks or months, you’re likely accumulating sleep debt. Sleep debt is the difference between how much sleep you need to feel rested and how much you actually get.
For many new moms, the demands of caring for a newborn leave little room for rest. Sleep deprivation can lead to:
Decreased cognitive function: Difficulty concentrating, remembering things, or making decisions.
Mood swings: Increased irritability, anxiety, or depression due to lack of rest.
Weakened immune system: Greater vulnerability to illness when you're not getting enough sleep.
How to Manage Sleep Debt:
Nap When You Can: Taking short naps throughout the day (even if it’s only 20 minutes) can help you catch up on sleep and reduce sleep debt over time. Don’t feel guilty about resting while your baby is napping — your body needs it.
Sleep in Blocks: If your baby isn’t sleeping through the night, try to work with your partner to get sleep in blocks. One partner can handle the late-night or early-morning feedings while the other rests.
Create a Nighttime Ritual: While sleep training your baby might take time, it's helpful to create a bedtime routine for them that signals it’s time for sleep. As they start to sleep longer stretches, your sleep debt will naturally reduce.
While sleep debt can’t be "fixed" in a day, finding opportunities to sleep when possible is key to rebuilding your energy.
2. Nervous System Regulation: Finding Calm Amid the Chaos
Being a new mom often means being constantly "on alert." Your nervous system is in overdrive, responding to the demands of your baby and the emotional rollercoaster that is motherhood. As a result, you may find it difficult to relax enough to fall asleep at night.
Your nervous system needs a moment to unwind before sleep, and it’s important to create rituals that signal to your body that it’s time to rest.
How to Regulate Your Nervous System for Better Sleep:
Wind-Down Rituals: Establishing a calming pre-bedtime routine helps signal to your nervous system that the day is ending. Whether it’s dimming the lights, drinking a cup of herbal tea, taking a warm bath, or doing some gentle stretching, incorporating these rituals will help your body shift into a more relaxed state.
Breathing Exercises: Deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation can activate your parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” system), helping your body and mind calm down. Consider using apps like Headspace or Calm for guided relaxation sessions before bed.
Gentle Movement: A short walk or light stretching can help release built-up tension. Avoid vigorous exercise right before bed, as it may increase your heart rate and make it harder to relax.
By taking care of your nervous system, you can reduce the feeling of constant hyper-alertness, helping you unwind before sleep.
3. Managing Anxiety at Night: Coping Strategies for Moms
Nighttime can often bring with it a surge of anxiety, especially when you’re alone with your thoughts after a long, exhausting day. We often refer to this as the “Sunset Scaries.” The quiet of the night might make worries about your baby’s health, your ability to handle motherhood, or even general anxieties about the future seem more overwhelming.
How to Manage Anxiety at Night:
Journal Your Thoughts: Before bed, write down any anxieties or worries you might have. Getting them out of your head and onto paper can help prevent them from spiraling and keep you from lying awake all night. Journaling also gives you a chance to reflect on the positive moments of your day, shifting your focus away from negative thoughts.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: When you’re lying in bed worrying about your baby or your life as a new mom, try reframing your thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I’ll never get enough sleep,” try saying, “I’m doing the best I can right now, and I’ll get through this stage.”
Limit Screen Time Before Bed: The blue light from phones and tablets can interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Try to avoid screens for at least 30 minutes before bedtime. Instead, read a book, listen to soothing music, or practice a relaxation technique.
While it’s normal to feel anxious during this transformative time, managing your thoughts and practicing self-compassion can help ease the anxiety that keeps you awake at night.
Conclusion
As a new mom, you’re learning to juggle so many things, but sleep must be a priority. By addressing your sleep debt, regulating your nervous system, and managing nighttime anxiety, you can create the conditions for better rest and more resilience. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t just about resting your body — it’s about nourishing your mind and emotions too.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and don’t feel guilty about needing sleep. You are a better mom when you’re well-rested, and taking steps to prioritize your rest is one of the most important things you can do for your health and your baby’s well-being.
Ready to start your healing journey? Contact Shameless Mama Wellness today to schedule a free consultation.
With Warmth and in Solidarity,
Marilyn
I provide a safe haven to discuss the thoughts you keep hidden.
As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I offer many services utilizing evidence-based treatments. Some services at Shameless Mama Wellness include treatment for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, birth trauma therapy, fertility counseling, therapy for miscarriage and loss, pregnancy therapy and treatment for NICU PTSD.
