First-Time Mom Survival Guide (8 of 10): The Art of Doing Less: Why You Shouldn’t Try to “Bounce Back”

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As a new mom, it’s easy to feel the pressure to “bounce back” — to reclaim your pre-pregnancy body, your energy, and your routine as quickly as possible. Social media and mainstream culture often promote this idea of a quick return to “normal,” but the truth is, the postpartum period isn’t about bouncing back — it’s about doing less and giving yourself grace to be exactly where you are.

In this guide, we’ll explore why you should resist the pressure to “bounce back” after giving birth, and how embracing the art of doing less can actually help you heal and thrive during this transformative time. We’ll also touch on the importance of slowing down, redefining productivity, and embracing a new pace of life.

1. The Pressure to Bounce Back: What’s Really Going On?

From celebrity moms posting their post-birth bodies on social media to well-meaning friends and family asking when you’ll “get back to your old self,” there’s a pervasive narrative around postpartum recovery that focuses on returning to how things were before you became a mom. But this pressure is unrealistic and harmful, and it fails to acknowledge the deep physical, emotional, and psychological changes you’ve experienced.

The truth is, your body has just gone through an incredible transformation. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a cesarean, your body has been through labor, recovery, and healing. The demands of motherhood — late nights, breastfeeding, and learning to care for a newborn — are exhausting. Instead of focusing on "bouncing back," it’s crucial to focus on embracing your body as it is right now and recognizing that recovery takes time.

Why You Shouldn’t Try to Bounce Back:

• It’s Unrealistic: Your body, mind, and emotions have undergone significant changes. Expecting to "bounce back" is like asking your body to undo the massive transformation it’s gone through. Healing is a process — it’s not something that happens in a few weeks or months.

• It Creates Unnecessary Guilt: The idea of bouncing back can lead to feelings of shame if you don’t meet expectations that were never realistic in the first place. This can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, making the postpartum period even harder.

• It Ignores Your Needs: Pressuring yourself to return to a certain physical state can ignore your emotional and mental needs. Postpartum is about integrating the changes in your body, mind, and life, not forcing yourself back into a mold that no longer fits.

2. Embracing the Art of Doing Less: Redefining Productivity

New motherhood is a time of learning to slow down, accept your limitations, and practice the art of doing less. There’s no need to rush back into old routines or pressure yourself to perform at pre-baby levels of productivity. Instead, take a step back and redefine what productivity means for you during this time.

How to Embrace Doing Less:

• Prioritize Rest: Sleep is healing. In the early months of motherhood, rest is your most important form of productivity. Allow yourself to sleep when the baby sleeps, even if that means letting dishes or laundry pile up. Your well-being comes first.

• Let Go of Perfectionism: The “perfect” mom doesn’t exist. You don’t need to do everything — cook gourmet meals, have the house spotless, or post picture-perfect photos on social media. Give yourself permission to let go of these expectations and focus on your health and your baby.

• Focus on What Matters Most: If you can only manage one or two tasks a day, make them count. Focus on quality over quantity. Maybe it’s taking a walk, reading a few pages of a book, or having a quiet moment with your partner. Don’t measure your worth by how much you accomplish each day.

3. Slowing Down and Redefining Recovery

Recovery is a slow process, and it’s not linear. Your body is healing, and your mind is adjusting to the new normal of motherhood. Taking the time to nurture yourself — physically, emotionally, and mentally — is essential to long-term well-being. It’s not about rushing through recovery or “bouncing back,” but about embracing your journey and giving yourself permission to heal at your own pace.

How to Redefine Your Recovery:

• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate this new chapter. If you're feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself that it’s okay to ask for help, rest when you need it, and take breaks. You are doing your best, and that is enough.

• Seek Emotional Support: It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions in the postpartum period. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a postpartum therapist or a support group to help you process what you’re feeling. You don’t have to do this alone.

• Be Patient with Your Body: Your body may not look or feel like it did before pregnancy, and that’s okay. Focus on what your body is capable of now — caring for a newborn, nurturing your baby, and taking the time to heal.

Remember, you don’t have to do everything, and you certainly don’t have to “bounce back.” Healing and recovery take time, and it’s essential to give yourself the space and grace to experience it at your own pace.

Conclusion: Slowing Down for Long-Term Wellness

Motherhood is not a race, and neither is recovery. The idea of bouncing back is often rooted in external expectations and pressures, but true healing comes from within. By embracing the art of doing less and redefining what recovery looks like for you, you can focus on your well-being — not on meeting arbitrary standards of perfection.

As a first-time mom, it’s important to give yourself permission to rest, recover, and take things slow. Prioritize what truly matters: your mental, emotional, and physical health. This season of life won’t last forever, and by slowing down and being kind to yourself, you’ll build the foundation for a more sustainable and joyful experience as a new mom.

Ready to start your healing journey? Contact Shameless Mama Wellness today to schedule a free consultation.

With Warmth and in Solidarity,
Marilyn

I provide a safe haven to discuss the thoughts you keep hidden.

As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I offer many services utilizing evidence-based treatments. Some services at Shameless Mama Wellness include treatment for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, birth trauma therapy, fertility counseling, therapy for miscarriage and loss, pregnancy therapy and treatment for NICU PTSD.