From Luxury to Lifeline: Maternal Self-Care and Maternal Mental Health
Hey, Shameless Mamas - Let’s Talk about Maternal Mental Health
As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I feel that motherhood, while profoundly rewarding, also presents a labyrinth of challenges, stressors, and moments of exhaustion. While focused on nurturing our children, many of us find ourselves relegating our own needs to the sidelines, neglecting the crucial practice of self-care.
Putting yourself first may sound like a radical notion, especially when societal norms dictate that as mothers, we must prioritize our children above all else. However, as we navigate motherhood, the importance of self-care for our maternal mental health becomes apparent even when it may feel like a foreign concept.
We all know the adage about the oxygen mask on the airplane, but I will never forget the moment that really hit home. I was flying with my son for the first time when he was 5 months old. I held him in my lap as the reminder was made “Please remember to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” I was horrified as I looked down at my son – HOW? How could I possibly do that? Then I was struck by the reality of why I must – because, frankly, we could both die otherwise…. What seems so selfish and counter-intuitive is actually essential.
The Importance of Self-Care
We all lived full lives before becoming mothers. We had individual needs and an individual identity, and they do not disappear when our children are born. When we ignore these needs and deny our previous identities, our mental health is impacted, and the family is affected.
A family operates as a cohesive unit, and when any part of it falters, the entire unit suffers. Your children need you to be mentally and physically healthy, and your family cannot operate optimally without this.
By prioritizing self-care, you're not only nurturing yourself but also fortifying the foundation upon which your family thrives. Prioritizing self-care isn't just a luxury – it's a vital investment in your family's well-being. By prioritizing your own mental, emotional, and physical health, you amplify the love and care you have available for your family. Any Postpartum Therapist will tell you that an unhealthy mother cannot maintain a healthy family.
Self-Care Considerations
The prospect of integrating self-care may seem daunting. Begin with small, manageable steps, tailored to your unique needs and circumstances. Oftentimes, even small acts of self-kindness can yield profound dividends. Self-care is about reclaiming your vitality and your power. The following considerations may prove useful as you consider the importance of self-care.
Enlist support:
It can be challenging to acknowledge that we cannot do everything on our own, and seeking support can be difficult. Consider examining what keeps you for asking for help. Most people want to be helpful – especially to the people they love. Ask yourself how you feel when you are able to assist someone you love, and consider allowing someone the pleasure and satisfaction of helping you.
Learn to set boundaries and say no when needed:
No one likes to let others down, but sometimes social or other commitments can just be too much. Learn to gracefully decline commitments that don't resonate with you or fit into your schedule.
Prioritize healthy lifestyle choices:
Sleep is definitely tricky as a new mom, but choose the nap over the laundry if you can. Your mental health will thank you. Try to incorporate regular physical activity that you enjoy into your routine. Don’t forget to eat! This is a problem for so many new moms. If you’re breastfeeding, remember that a large part of your nutrient intake if fueling another person, so you really need the calories. On that note – don’t forget to hydrate too!
Create a regular mindfulness routine:
There is real power in even a short 10 minute meditation. A quick stretch or mini-yoga session goes a long way as well. Sometimes the best mindfulness practice can simply be sitting outside for a quick minute and taking in the scenery. The important part is to simply carve out a little time for yourself and just breathe.
Foster connections:
Nurture meaningful connections with the people you love. Take time for the relationships that are important to you. Consider a moms’ group where you can meet other mothers or a postpartum yoga class with or without the baby. Your girlfriends are important and they can be vital to your support network.
Postpartum Mental Health
Your wellbeing is crucial during this time, and it’s okay to prioritize your physical and mental wellbeing. Remember that one in five mothers face mental health conditions during pregnancy or the postpartum period. Its manifestations may vary, from heightened irritability to a sense of detachment, difficulty bonding with the baby, or disruptions in sleep patterns or appetite. Maternal mental health not only profoundly impacts the mother but also reverberates through the child's health, development, and overall well-being.
Redefining Self-Care
Let’s dispel the notion that self-care is selfish. Prioritizing one’s wellbeing is not only a gift to oneself but a vital investment in the health and welfare of the family. By nurturing our own mental and physical health, we equip themselves to better navigate our journey as mothers.
Postpartum Therapists know that central to every home is a mother's boundless love, wisdom, and intuition – qualities that are irreplaceable. You are the heartbeat of your household, and a healthy heart requires care and attention. While self-care may feel like an indulgence amidst the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, it's a non-negotiable cornerstone of familial wellness.
With warmth and in solidarity,
Marilyn
