First-Time Mom Survival Guide (10 of 10): Returning to Work After Baby: How to Make it Suck Less

Hey, Shameless Mamas - Let’s Talk about Maternal Mental Health

Returning to work after having a baby is one of the most challenging transitions many new moms face. Whether you're heading back full-time or part-time, the emotional, physical, and logistical adjustments can feel overwhelming. You may be battling a mixture of guilt, anxiety, and excitement — all while trying to figure out how to balance the demands of your career with the needs of your baby.

But here’s the truth: returning to work doesn’t have to be a nightmare. With a bit of planning, self-compassion, and a realistic perspective, you can make this transition smoother for both you and your baby. In this guide, we’ll explore ways to ease the stress of returning to work and help you navigate this challenging time with more confidence. And, if you’re facing the transition with more excitement than any other emotion, that’s perfectly okay too! You are not alone, and it’s natural to crave some adult interaction!

1. Acknowledge the Grief and Guilt: It’s Normal to Feel Both

The first step in making the transition easier is acknowledging that it's okay to feel sad, anxious, or even guilty about leaving your baby. Many moms struggle with the emotional weight of returning to work.

How to Cope with Grief and Guilt:

• Validate Your Emotions: Feeling conflicted about returning to work doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby or that you’re failing as a mother. It’s completely normal to feel torn between your professional identity and your new role as a mom.

• Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the time you had with your baby. Recognizing and acknowledging these feelings will help you process them rather than burying them under pressure to “just move on.”

• Talk It Out: Have open conversations with your partner, friends, or therapist about how you’re feeling. Sharing your thoughts can help relieve some of the emotional weight and remind you that you’re not alone in this experience.

2. Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself

Returning to work after maternity leave means a lot of things are changing — and some of those changes may feel overwhelming. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to be on top of everything at home and at work, but that’s simply not realistic, especially in the beginning.

How to Set Realistic Expectations:

• Be Gentle with Yourself: You are adjusting to a massive life change. Don’t expect to jump back into work and home life as if nothing has changed. It’s okay to not be operating at 100% during the first few months back at work.

• Focus on Priorities: Instead of trying to juggle everything at once, identify your most important priorities. At work, that might mean focusing on your key responsibilities. At home, it could mean spending quality time with your baby, rather than stressing about keeping a spotless house.

• Communicate with Your Employer: Be upfront with your manager or colleagues about any challenges you’re facing in balancing work and new motherhood. Setting expectations about your availability, workload, or flexibility can ease some of the pressure.

3. Create a Supportive Work-Life Plan

One of the best ways to ease the stress of returning to work is to create a work-life plan that incorporates realistic boundaries, childcare arrangements, and self-care practices. Planning ahead can help reduce anxiety and allow you to feel more in control of the situation.

Tips for Creating a Work-Life Plan:

• Childcare Planning: If possible, get childcare in place long before you return to work. Whether that’s daycare, a nanny, or a family member, having a trusted person to care for your baby will give you peace of mind. Make sure to establish clear communication with your childcare provider about your baby’s needs and routines.

• Work Schedule Adjustments: If your work allows it, see if there’s flexibility in your hours or work-from-home options. Gradually easing back into a full-time schedule can help prevent overwhelm and give you time to adjust to your new routine.

• Plan for Time Off: Taking days off when you feel overwhelmed can help prevent burnout. Talk to your employer about using paid time off or sick days to take care of your mental and physical health as you navigate the transition back to work.

4. Manage Your Time: Create Routines and Set Boundaries

Time management becomes even more crucial when you’re balancing the needs of your baby, work, and personal life. Establishing a routine — for both work and home life — can help reduce stress and keep everything moving smoothly.

Time Management Tips for Working Moms:

• Create a Consistent Routine: Having a morning routine and evening ritual can help your day feel more structured and manageable. For example, you might have a set time to wake up, pump or feed your baby, and leave for work. At night, make time to connect with your partner and relax before bed.

• Set Work Boundaries: It can be hard to separate work from personal life when you're working from home or adjusting to a new role. Set boundaries about when you’re available for work and when you need personal time. Use tools like calendar blocking to help organize your day and create clear work-life boundaries.

• Delegate Tasks at Home: You don’t have to do everything yourself. Whether it’s asking your partner to help more with household chores or hiring a cleaning service, delegating tasks to help lighten your load when possible.

5. Take Care of Yourself: Self-Care Is Not Optional

Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity, especially when you’re juggling the demands of returning to work and being a new mom. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being will help you show up as the best version of yourself at both home and work.

Self-Care Tips for New Working Moms:

• Sleep: This can be one of the hardest things to prioritize with a baby, but sleep is essential for mental clarity and emotional balance. Do what you can to catch up on sleep, whether that’s sleeping when your baby sleeps or asking for help from a partner or family member.

• Nourish Your Body: Eating nourishing meals and staying hydrated will help fuel you throughout the day. If possible, prepare meals in advance or ask for help from loved ones to make sure you're eating properly.

• Emotional Support: Seek out support groups, friends, or a therapist who specializes in maternal mental health to help you navigate the emotional ups and downs of returning to work. Having a strong support network will remind you that you’re not in this alone.

Conclusion: You’re Doing the Best You Can

Returning to work after having a baby is a significant transition, and it’s okay to feel challenged by it. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t need to do it all perfectly. Set realistic expectations, build a support system, and be gentle with yourself during this time. You will have ALL the emotions, and they are all okay to feel. You will need to give yourself grace as you navigate this change.

With the right strategies in place — including self-compassion, boundary setting, and planning — the transition back to work can be a little easier. You’ve got this, mama! You’re not alone, and by prioritizing your mental and emotional health, you can show up as the best version of yourself both at work and at home.

Ready to start your healing journey? Contact Shameless Mama Wellness today to schedule a free consultation.

With Warmth and in Solidarity,
Marilyn

I provide a safe haven to discuss the thoughts you keep hidden.

As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I offer many services utilizing evidence-based treatments. Some services at Shameless Mama Wellness include treatment for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, birth trauma therapy, fertility counseling, therapy for miscarriage and loss, pregnancy therapy and treatment for NICU PTSD.