Intrusive Thoughts in New Moms
Hey, Shameless Mamas - Let’s Talk about Maternal Mental Health
Motherhood is a life-changing journey, but it isn’t always picture-perfect. For many new moms, intrusive thoughts can appear seemingly out of nowhere, leaving you feeling scared, confused, or ashamed. As a postpartum therapist, I’ve seen how these thoughts can shake the confidence of even the most prepared mamas. The good news is, you are not alone, and there is help.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or ideas that can be distressing. For new moms, they might include thoughts of accidental harm coming to your baby, fears about being an inadequate mother, or even unsettling images that are completely out of character.
These thoughts often catch you off guard because they contradict your deep love and care for your baby. It’s important to know that having these thoughts doen’t mean you’re a bad mom or that you’ll act on them. Intrusive thoughts are a common symptom of anxiety and often occur in the postpartum period when hormones, sleep deprivation, and the enormous responsibility of caring for your newborn intersect.
What Do Intrusive Thoughts Mean?
Intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of your character or intentions. They are a sign that your brain is on high alert, trying to protect you and your baby from potential harm. While this heightened vigilance can be useful, it can also backfire, causing your mind to fixate on worst-case scenarios. There is no feeling more vulnerable than new motherhood. Some describe it as the experience of having your heart beating outside of your body. That is a very scary feeling that can leave you feeling unsafe and unguarded.
It’s important to understand that thoughts are not actions. Having a thought does not mean that you want to, or will, act on that thought. It’s simply a thought, and there are ways to address and control it.
It’s essential to distinguish intrusive thoughts from postpartum mood disorders like postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (P-OCD). A maternal mental health therapist can help you understand the difference and determine whether you could benefit from postpartum therapy.
What Can I Do About Intrusive Thoughts?
Recognize and Normalize: Know that intrusive thoughts are a common experience for new moms. They don’t define you as a parent, and having them doesn’t mean you’ll act on them.
Speak the Truth: Shame thrives in silence. Talking openly about your intrusive thoughts with a trusted loved one or a therapist for moms can be a powerful way to reduce their intensity. Vulnerability and honesty are courageous steps toward healing.
Seek Support from a Perinatal Therapist: A perinatal mental health therapist can provide a safe space to explore your thoughts without judgment. Through techniques like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or EMDR, you can learn to manage anxiety and reduce the hold these thoughts have over you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that you’re navigating a significant life transition. It’s okay to ask for help, take breaks, and prioritize your well-being.
Build a Toolbox of Coping Strategies:
Grounding Techniques: Focus on your senses to bring yourself back to the present moment.
Mindfulness Practices: Meditation or deep-breathing exercises can calm your mind.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can help you process them and gain clarity.
The Power of Vulnerability
When we speak openly about our struggles, we give others permission to do the same. If you’ve experienced intrusive thoughts, consider sharing your story with someone you trust. Vulnerability dismantles shame and builds connection, reminding us that we are never alone in our experiences. You may be surprised that others have had similar experiences.
When to Seek Help
If intrusive thoughts are interfering with your daily life, causing you significant distress, or making you question your ability to care for your baby, it’s time to reach out. A perinatal mental health therapist or postpartum therapist can help you find relief and regain your confidence as a mom.
You Are Not Alone
Intrusive thoughts are a common part of the postpartum experience, but they don’t have to define it. With the right support, you can navigate this challenging time and emerge stronger and more self-assured. You deserve support, understanding, and a chance to thrive in motherhood.
Ready to start your healing journey? Contact Shameless Mama Wellness today to schedule a free consultation.
With Warmth and in Solidarity,
Marilyn
I provide a safe haven to discuss the thoughts you keep hidden.
As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I offer many services utilizing evidence-based treatments. Some services at Shameless Mama Wellness include treatment for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, birth trauma therapy, fertility counseling, therapy for miscarriage and loss, pregnancy therapy and treatment for NICU PTSD.
Online therapy available to new moms in California.
